***AN OPEN PLEA TO THE PIE FAIRY OF OHIO***
I am asking you to reconsider your decision to stop playing Secret Santa and sending your anonymous pecan pies at Christmas to Bill Welch of Columbus. You’ve done it for 35 years. He’s 87. Let’s be honest here…how many more pies could he be expecting? You left him a note to say your wings are too short now and you’re getting too fat to fly, but I ain’t buying it.
I can see where you might have grown tired flapping those wings while carrying a torch in one hand and a pie in the other. Maybe you’re just fed up waiting for some recognition or reciprocation. HE’S A GUY. Your 35 years of secretly plotting and planning and delighting over surprising him was over in ten minutes of chewing and swallowing.
Over 35 years, you lovingly rolled out the crust and melted the butter…you heated the oven and slid the pie in…watching, waiting until it was bubbly perfection. Maybe over the years you tweaked the recipe…tried different sugars and butter, smaller pecans…trying to make it better…wondering if he’d notice the difference. He didn’t. HE’S A GUY.
If you think he’ll go without pecan pie next Christmas, you’re wrong. He’ll be inundated with pies…I guarantee you that a whole bunch of broads will jump on the bandwagon and roll out the pie crusts. Bill’s popularity is about to spike, I hope he’s not a diabetic.
But it won’t be your pie and the hope that you had that it meant something to him will be gone too…because you decided you were done. Now you will never know. A 35 year old secret…this isn’t just about pie.
Pie Fairy…it isn’t enough to just bake the pie…you need to taste it too… together. So what if your wings are too short and you’re carrying too much weight for liftoff. Don’t wait another day. Take your pie, walk up to the door and knock on it. He’s 87.
WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
Day three hundred and fifty three…poof!