I am sad to report that the building contractor on my cyber-pyramid has decided to quit the project.
Yep…my Mac Book Pro has drawn its last keystroke. I plugged it in and pressed the on button AND NOTHING HAPPENED.
After my breathing returned to normal, I performed CPR…computer program resuscitation…didn’t get a pulse.
My friend May Pang started using Macs when Apple was just a seedling. Her office is an Apple museum. I called her, sobbing, and she didn’t give me an encouraging prognosis. She delivered the death blow. “Did you back it up?”
I’m not known for my timing…I’m more hourglass than digital…but thankfully I remembered to plug in my external hard drive…yesterday.
May and I have a radio show that we do together on the internet, and I wear headphones when we are broadcasting. The plug end of my headphones looks just like the plug end on the hard drive.
For the past MONTH I have been plugging in my headphones thinking I am backing up my computer. I should not be allowed to operate ANY kind of machinery.
I’ve put a junior contractor to work…my Ipad. I have a confession. I’ve owned it for a year and have only used it three times. I can’t seem to get the hang of it. I can’t master an Iphone either…
My daughter has threatened to buy me one of those Jitterbug phones with the large numbers and it might not be a bad idea.
I got the Ipad to take on the blues cruise that I took last year. I had planned to do a lot of writing while on the high seas. I got a wireless keyboard and a fancy carry case. I looked the part.
The night before we sailed I went down to the WiFi area at the hotel and hopped onto the internet express. It took me almost 45 minutes to send a message on Facebook. I had forgotten to take the keyboard down with me and I could not peck on the letter keypad fast enough…no matter where I touched the screen something turned or disappeared…it freaked me out.
I was sitting by the pool on the ship one afternoon, and fueled by the drink of the day, I decided to give my Ipad another chance. I pulled out the cool wireless keyboard and I saw several people checking it out.
Yeah…that’s right…state of the art…in this case, comics. I couldn’t figure out how to turn it on. I knew where to put the batteries in…but nothing lights up on it and I was stymied.
I did what anyone would do while sitting in the spotlight, surrounded by a curious audience.
I pretended to be typing away on it. My fingers flew across the keys…but absolutely NOTHING was typing on the screen…nothing.
I pushed my sunglasses up on my head and acted like I was proofreading my material…I even considered throwing in a laugh or two to lend some authenticity…but I didn’t want to push it.
My cocktail waitress was an adorable girl from the Phillipines. She was curious about the wireless keyboard and she very politely asked if she could look at it.
I beckoned for her to lean down and out of the side of my mouth I whispered, “I don’t know how to turn it on. I’m faking it.”
She nodded like this was perfectly normal, and asked, “May I?”
She tapped the opposite end of the keyboard battery compartment and with a few keystrokes that I neglected to observe and will never remember…synced my keyboard to my Ipad…and I was in business.
I typed TANK YU…wish I could blame it on the cocktail…but even the keyboard has a learning curve. She smiled and walked away, and the next time she came through with drinks, she brought me a soda.
I can vouch for the audio capabilities of the Ipad and so can the Lido deck of the Eurodam. I was checking my email and I clicked on an audio file that a girlfriend had sent to me as a joke.
It was the Tiger Woods phone message that sunk his birdie. “Hey…it’s Tiger….” blasted from my Ipad. I didn’t know how to stop it and it didn’t dawn on me to shut it off.
I jumped up and grabbed my things…Tiger radio broadcasting as I hurried to the elevator. The doors opened…it was packed with people. Whatever I kept punching on the Ipad kept making the message start again.
If I kept on the move they couldn’t really make out what was being said and who was doing the talking…I put way more into that thought process instead of just shutting the Ipad down.
I hustled down six flights of stairs, replaying the message all the way to my cabin. “Hey…it’s Tiger…” I was ten feet from the door when I had my light bulb moment and just pressed the off button.
The Ipad never came out of the case again…until today. I attempted to revive my Mac Book for an hour. I took the battery out…I tried different plugs. He’s gone. Time of death…6:36 p.m.
I tried to talk my daughter into letting me borrow her Mac Book…she just got a new one at Christmas. No go…she laughed when I threatened to hold her cat Buster hostage.
“That’s funny Mom…I figure he’s already holding YOU hostage…and the answer is still no.”
Smartypants. Dang it.
My Ipad has been in the time-out chair since last year. I took a deep breath, took it out of the case…turned on the keyboard…and started to type.
AND IT WORKS!
Construction has resumed with a new crew chief…phew…I’m not going to overwork him the first night out.
I’d like to pay tribute by dedicating this stone on my wall to my Mac Book Pro…gone…but not forgotten…thanks to his trusty companion…the external hard drive.
An Apple every day…and eventually your Mac won’t play…
Day Three Hundred and Eighteen…A smooth landing on my first solo flight on my Ipad.